I've been meaning to write this for a long time now. I just haven't been in the blogging mood this semester but every time I'd want to blog... it'd be this year end "wrap up" blog. But, I didn't want to write a wrap up blog in October or even November. I wanted to wait until just after christmas. Silly me - the days between christmas and new years always pass bye in a blur (okay, so maybe i watched 12 hours of trashy tv but whatever, I'm allowed to veg out right?)
So my year. Wow. The first 6 months of the year were very crazy - in hindsight, it feels like it was 5 years worth of emotions packed into (actually less than) 6 months. This time last year, there was a real possibility that I'd be engaged by now. And the only reason it seemed to be a possibility (rather than "for sure") was because I really wanted to wait until we were both done with school. But last year this time, we were doing the whole parents meeting thing and talking about apartments and puppies. And not even two months later... it was all over, sorta.
The next few months, I learned a lot about myself, I grew closer to many of my classmates (drifted from others) and reconnected with old friends. And all the while, I tried to learn how to love someone new. Perhaps it was bad timing or maybe a bad match. Either way, I dealt with the "emotional turmoil" by getting incredibly hammered quite often - but at least I had a great time doing it. Every time I thought I had the world figured out, some little thing would cause me to rethink my entire "figured out" stuff.
The summer gave me an opportunity to get away from myself in a sense. Working with low income elderly was one of the most rewarding experiences - and, though I had expected the work to be tedious and dull, I found my work pretty interesting (most of the time). And, though I didn't get to do as much "Boston" stuff as I had hoped, I made the most of my summer with several trips and fun adventures (and roomie movie nights). Perhaps I should have squeezed in NY a few more times... oh well.
September and October turned out be quite hectic. Job hunting, school, life. Honestly, going through all these levels of self doubt (from job hunting/"career decision" shit to the "love life" crap), is exhausting and draining.... and probably the reason I slacked more than ever!
But December finally came... and a chance to end the year on a good note. I started out the month with a job decision. Finally, a huge weight off my chest. And, by then, I was also ready to close the book on my 5 year saga. For the first time in 5 years, I was ready to admit that he wasn't the one (though I'd probably known it awhile). And, for the first time in nearly a year, I was ready to be alone... no crutch, no fall back. 2(.5) break ups definitely taught me a thing or two about what I want in life.
I also started to make a conscious effort to be healthy (minus the drinking) - I mean - why wait until the new year? Working out, yoga, capoeira. By mid-December, I was high - on godknowswhat. For a week - perhaps longer - I felt like I was constantly smiling - and not voluntarily. Uncontrollably happy. Finally in control of things. Maybe it was the endorphins from working out. Or maybe it was all the gorgeous snow. Who cares what it was? Of course, then I got extremely hammered and did a bunch of stuff i regret - minor setback(s)(it happened twice in december...) - but now, I'm determined to make all of 08 like the first 3 weeks of December 07.
Of course, there was lots more to 07 than my stupid emotional drama. Cal lost to the 'furd for the first time in the Tedford era, the Sox won the World Series (oh yes, and the Pats went 16-0)(and the Lakers brought back the daisy dukes - if only for half of 1 game), I visited Canada and Puerto Rico for the first time, I got my lowest GPA (ever? haha), I survived my first big(?) snow storm I guess, I grew closer to friends that I've known for years, I rediscovered how much I love reading and listening to music, I became addicted to more TV shows than ever... hm, what else? (I managed a 3 days weekend trip with no luggage and a 6 day trip with only a carry-on... perhaps only Maria can understand how impressive that is). I love the memories I made and hope to always remember the lessons I learned, but I'm ready for my quarter century year.... bring it on!
Cheers to a new year... live it to the fullest.
Oh yes, and I am going to request a moratorium on weddings and babies in 08 please. I mean, those of you who had already made plans in 07 are exempt but the rest of you... SLOW DOWN, jeez. You're making me feel old! (j/k) :)
(PS: This is what happens when you force out a blog when you don't really feel like writing. sorry it was so boring)
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1 comment:
it was good! not boring. sounds like you've done some good introspection. i hope '08 is even better for you than you're hoping. :) someone told me 25 was a good year when i turned 25. and it was a good year for me. 29's even better, but it's only been a few months.... :)
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